Assorted Udderances take a pull offa Ben's pipe


Customers vs. sales transactions

Today the CBC reports that Tim Horton's will close its storied shop in Kandahar:

After having served 2.5 million customers over the last five years, the Tim Hortons [sic] location in Kandahar, Afghanistan will close at the end of the month. […] Since opening on Canada Day in 2006, the Kandahar Tim Hortons [sic] served four million cups of coffee, three million donuts and half a million iced cappuccinos and bagels, the company said in a release Thursday.

I presume that the writer means 2.5 million sales transactions, not 2.5 million customers. Given the unique geopolitical nature of the location, I would wager that most of those transactions were made by a small number of regularly returning customers (each of whom no doubt bought a net many more than the mean of 1.6 cups suggested by the figures).

If I have a small business selling coffee, and a solitary dedicated fellow comes into my shop three times a day for a year, have I served a thousand customers, or just one?


Canada votes in favour of asbestos

CBC reports that "Opposition MPs slammed the Harper government Thursday over Canada's opposition to putting chrysotile asbestos on an international list of hazardous chemicals."

It goes on to say that a spokesman for the UN's environment program stated that "David Sproule, the head of Canada's delegation, told participants that «Canada is not in a position to agree to the listing of chrysotile asbestos … at this conference of the parties»".

If accurate, then Sproule's remark is obviously a lie. By having the capacity to vote, Canada is in a position to agree. It has simply chosen not to.

The decision is repugnant, and typically illustrative of the Steven Harper government's lack of moral compass.


New airport fondling; no gay military

Two pieces of evidence this week alone that the U.S.A. is still a third-world country ideologically:

Unreal. It's interesting to observe that many of the country's irrational hang-ups involve sexual themes.


Goat kills man in Washington state

From the CBC News:

A mountain goat […] fatally gored a hiker, then stood over the man and stared menacingly at people trying to help. […]

Robert Boardman, 63, of Port Angeles died Saturday after he was attacked by the goat while hiking on the subalpine Switchback Trail. The trail is popular with residents of nearby Port Angeles, about 140 kilometres west of Seattle.

[…] "This is a highly unusual. There's no record of anything similar in this park," [said park official Barb Maynes.]

[…] Park officials have posted signs at trailheads warning hikers to be watchful of all goats and to stay at least 30 metres from the animals. Hikers are also warned not to urinate on or near the trail, because goats are attracted to the salt.

A necropsy, or animal autopsy, was conducted on the goat Sunday night by private veterinary pathologists. Park officials are awaiting test results of blood and tissue samples, which may take a couple of weeks, Maynes said.


Penile plethysmography

Good lord; until today, it was a routine practice by a service of the B.C. Ministry for Children and Family Development to assess a convicted sex offender by "attach[ing] a device to his penis [and then] play[ing] images of adults having sex and of naked children while monitoring the youth's level of arousal".

Sounds like something from the early half of this century.

Update (next day): surprise, surprise; the cancellation of this wacky test came down after somebody realized that one of their technicians had been convicted of sexual assault.

Update (April 26, 2011): The BC Children's Representative just released a report concluding that indeed "the penile sensors are invasive." Well, how's that for some solid government research.


Alberta family’s cat found in Yukon

I love reading unusual yet oddly heart-warming articles like this, wherein a cat managed to travel over 1100 km north to Whitehorse.

Update: Not two days later, a similar story where a doggie makes his way home over 80 km south to Winnipeg!

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Weird news day

From the CBC:

Feces-squirting thieves sought in Toronto, after a spate of spraying bank-machine customers with liquid shit and then stealing their money. Bizarre.

And, Gary Coleman was apparently in hospital on life support (update: now dead. RIP.)

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Beavers and whales

Two animal-related news items reported by the CBC today to make us Canadians happy and/or proud: a grey whale was spotted in False Creek between the Granville and Burrard bridges, and an 850 km long beaver dam in Alberta that probably took 20 years to build!

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Deliberate mis-editing by ABC in Toyota report

CBC: ABC admits tinkering with Toyota report. This is a first-degree fuck-up in news editing. (Filed under "film" because, well, apparently the editor thought he was doing a drama)

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